Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy
by LovingTheOgre
Summary: Hiashi made it through Hinata and Sasuke's wedding...now he has to deal with her being pregnant, a flirtatious secretary that's trying to rape him, Gai and Lee decorating, pranks...did I mention his eye still twitches? Chapter 3 is finally up!
1. Of bets and lunch

Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy

**(Warning: If you have not read ****Father of the Bride****part one**** then you will not understand what is going on in part two…read part one then proceed to part two-I promise part one is a blast)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it at all 'cept the plot. Wow I cant believe that this story made it to part two! It seems like only yesterday that I started part one along side Lonely in Gorgeous…**

**Sasuke: Didn't part 2 to ****that**** fic crash and burn?...**_**it was about Gaara and his fan girl right?**_

**Sera: Yes.**

**Itachi: Wont you be afraid that this one will to? Don't sequels usually not do so well then the original?**

**Sera: Shut it.**

**Sasuke: Aren't you afraid that you'll fail again? **

**Sera: I'm warning you…**

**Itachi:…I bet you didn't even think through the initial plot…how…sad.**

**Sera:…THAT'S IT!**

**-**_**flurry of tiny fists in fight cloud are seen…if you look close enough you can see Itachi with a black eye and Sasuke being strangled**_**-**

**Sera:-**_**smiles**_**-Now here is the story everyone had been waiting for. I introduce ****Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy**

(Alternate Universe)

Grandfather…I will be a grandfather?

Now I know what you must be thinking, that I could handle this after all I got through the nightmare wedding and that Hinata is a married adult so that it was bound to happen, right?

Wrong.

As I sit in my office staring at my computer screen where I should no doubt be working, I couldn't help but to go down the shinny golden path that is memory lane-Hinata being born, Hinata's first words, Hinata's first step towards me in her mothers garden, her wispy dark midnight blue hair swaying, her cheeks pink, her toothless grin.

Hinata's first day at school, Hinata's high school graduation (and yes I skipped the middle school years-it was during that time she had met with Inuzuka and Uzumaki…other then that I will not elaborate more on those hellish three years)

Hinata going off to collage, the beginning of my frequent anxiety problems…and then meeting that damned Uchiha **pervert demon bastard**, then she ultimately marrying him.

I rub the bridge of my nose in frustration willing away the nauseating feeling in my gut, you know, the one that tells you that Karma is going to roll up your street with a very slow vehicle and shoot you as soon as you step out to grab the news paper in your favorite robe and fuzzy slippers…no? Oh, well that's just me then.

Well, I sigh, at least the twitching has stopped. My cell phone rings and I answer it after the first ding.

"Hiashi here." Why cant I ever just say hello?

"Dad, it's Sasuke."

"Oh…hello…" Why cant that pervert just roll over in a ditch and die?

"I'm in the area so I'll be seeing you for lunch. Just calling to remind you."

Lunch? With that **Pervert Rapist**?

"Lunch?"

He seems to think for a moment, I can almost see him scratch his **idiot** chin trying to think with his **idiot** brain…what an **idiot**.

"Didn't Neji tell you? I called him this morning."

Ah, so that's it. My idiot of a nephew had forgotten to give me the message. Bless that little dears heart perhaps I will place Nair in his conditioner bottle…oh no bad Hiashi! You are not Hanabi…Hanabi is the evil one…Note to Self: Slyly give Hanabi the Nair Neji idea.

"Well then, I guess that I will be seeing you in an hour or so, Sasuke."

We hang up, and now my chest is feeling tight, my head is throbbing…is this how it feels like when you are about to die?

"Why me?"

Suddenly the office door slams opened and bounces in Anko Mitarashi, my new secretary. She hands me a few files and smiles….now this would not be so bad if said smile wasn't a lecherous **I'm-gonna-rape-you** grin and it would be less terrifying if her eyes stayed elsewhere except on me while she gave me a once over then a flirtatious wink.

"Bossy-Kins." She says before bouncing out of the office, but not before blowing me a kiss.

Now you must be wondering why I have yet to fire her. Well I should start at the beginning.

It was during one of the Friday poker nights at Uzumaki's place. Kushina Uzumaki's place, not to be confused with her good for nothing son Naruto. 

I digress, anyway, while we were getting wonderfully buzzed, listening to Shikaku Nara and Shibi Aburame talk openly about having dated the same woman in collage while Choza munched on some peanuts. Inoichi flirted with Kushina, whom rolled her eyes and reminded him that her husband, Minato Namikaze, whom was on a business trip, was his boss.

I sat quietly drinking my beer on the old worn couch in the basement watching a football game with Fugaku and Ibiko Morino. Time seemed to pass by slowly before Fugaku turned to me with a sly smile.

"_You a bettin' man Hiashi?"_

He was drunk of course.

"_Maybe."_

Ibiki, whom I suspect was not drunk at all, turned in our direction, the game forgotten on the screen. He smirked. _"What's this I hear of a bet?"_

Sadist.

To make a long story short I lost the bet, which was to see whether or not Kushina would throw Inoichi out of the house by force or politely threaten him to leave-damn my drunken mind for thinking she'd just ask him to leave! Damn her inhuman strength!

Loser of the bet would have to work with Anko Mitarashi for a solid six months and I was said loser.

Joy.

Now I was working with a woman, while not at all bad to the eye, she was quite attractive with her purple hair pinned up and her short skirts and curvaceous body, but one would over look her attractiveness. She was insane, loved to grope, and perverted.

Like just the other day she and I were stuck in the elevator. I was on my corner, holding my brief case tightly, she was on her corner…licking her lips in my direction and wagging her eyebrows.

By the time the elevator opened she was in my personal space with her hand on my ass the other in my hair.

Brother in heaven, why must I suffer so?

But I knew he was laughing alongside my wife. Laughing and pointing and having mint tea…damn I want mint tea!

I looked at my watch and noted that it was near lunch time.

"Tea and some sandwiches…I can get to Pom-Pom Lei's café in and be back in time if I leave now…"

Just then my office door opened. I stared at the thick black hair, black eyes and smirk. Oh it was him…my **Son-In-Law from hell** wearing a designer suit.

"Sasuke…"

"Hey dad. I've come to get you for lunch, I want to share some news with you."

Oh yippee I cant wait.

"It's about Gai and Lee."

_Twitch_

_Twitch_

_Twitch_

Ah I was waiting for it, just waiting for it to return.

Well I hope that this wont effect Hinata's children in anyway. I can see it now.

Grandpa Twitchy.

------- ------- -------- ------- ------- ------- ------

**Sera: Hiashi is BACK! Hahahah I love writing from his POV, he's just too funny. Anyone ever notice that he talks to himself a lot. There is a lot of self loathing in there too as well as loathing just about anything. He surely does hate Sasuke huh? At the end of part one he started to like him then the call came. Hinata being pregnant just made him hate Sasuke more, if even possible.**

**Anko is his flirty secretary. She's crazy, sexy and doesn't know the meaning of the words "DON'T" or "STOP" instead turning the words into "Please don't stop" She's going to be fun I just know it.**

**Neji and Hanabi will make a comeback as the Evil Hiashi Pranksters-you should also read my fic Bonds. Which is about them bonding over making Hiashi miserable. **

**Hiashi: …I hate you…**

**Sera: No you don't! Besides you don't get enough fic love. You're either made into an ass-hole or a sappy weirdo. At least here people can see you as funny.**

**Hiashi: They laugh at my pain…**

**Sera: ****Because it's funny.**

**Hiashi: **_**-pales- **_**…I hate you so much…**

**Sera: Review and I'll get more up…no flames please!**


	2. Of weasles and crab cakes

Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy

**(Warning: If you have not read ****Father of the Bride****part one**** then you will not understand what is going on in part two…read part one then proceed to part two-I promise part one is a blast)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it at all 'cept the plot. Wow I cant believe that this story made it to part two! I'm so excited!**

**Sasuke: Yeah well I'm so ecstatic…I might be killed by my father-in-law**

**Sera: I know**

**Itachi: It's not like it would be a bad thing, I mean-you're a useless fighter and well you are the ****unattractive**** Uchiha.**

**Sera: Oh good one!**

_**-Itachi and Sera share a high five-**_

**Sasuke: **_**Unattractive**_** you say?…that is it brother…no one calls my **_**beautiful**_** face ugly and **_**lives**_** to see tomorrow… **

**Sera: …o-oh my…**

_**-Sasuke's battle spark aura is visible-**_

**Itachi:…Really now…**_**Ugly**_** Sasuke?**

**Sasuke:…DIE!!!**

**Sera: Uh…hahahaha um enjoy the story…Sasuke put the **_**Kunai**_** down! Itachi stop **_**laughing**_** at Sasuke's **_**Duck butt**_** hair!**

(Alternate Universe)

"Well this is nice isn't it Dad?" Sasuke asks from his seat in front of me. Though I had to have lunch with the pervert I at least was eating at the place I wanted to eat at. Pom-Pom Lei's was a small Café about a half hour away from Hyuuga International. It sat nestled between Uzumaki's Bar and Yamanaka Flower Shop.

"This mint tea is delicious!"

Well Whoop De Do we share a love of Mint tea…what's next? He'll love the crab cakes too?

"And these crab cakes are fantastic."

Well damn…

"What was it you needed to tell me Sasuke?"

"Hm?" He thought with his idiot head for a moment. "Oh yeah! Hinata has asked Gai and Lee to decorate the baby's room. She was hoping that you would help out, since I'm going to be gone on business for a few months…"

Ah yes. The **idiot** was off to China on business leaving my _darling_ Hinata alone.

I could do a happy dance right now.

"…and I don't want her to be with just Itachi in the house to keep her company."

Right through my internal happy dance I felt my mental health just drop. Hinata alone with **Itachi** the **weasel**?

"Itachi you say? I thought he'd gone back to Paris…why is he here in town?"

Sasuke waved a hand, I could see he was just excited about his brother then I was. "Itachi missed home and decided to move back, or so he says, although I think it has something to do with another certain Hyuuga."

"Neji?"

"Younger."

Twitchy strikes again.

"Hanabi? My sixteen year old daughter?"

Sasuke nodded. "It seems that Itachi has taken quite a liking to her…" He laughed. "If this goes over well then you might just have another Uchiha as an in-law, Dad."

I can't breathe…for the love of God **I CANT BREATHE**!

"T-that's nice…but isn't Hanabi a little young for We-I mean Itachi?"

Sasuke sipped his tea while staring at the last crab cake on my plate. "Does it really matter, after all love has no age."

He's joking right? Itachi's at least 25 years old! Sasuke** Idiot **has to be joking.

"And there is the fact that they did sneak off during the reception." Sasuke added in to my misery-which what he said was the last thing I remembered when my world turned black…I'd fainted.

------- ------- -------- ------- ------- ------- ------

**Sera: He fainted.**

**Hiashi: I panicked.**

**Sera: You ****FAINTED**

**Hiashi: I COULDN'T BREATHE!**

**Sera: You ****Fainted**_**in front**_** of ****SASUKE**

**Hiashi: I ****fainted**** because he was **_**trying**_** to give me a ****heart attack**

**Sera: Review and I'll get more up…no flames please! And Hiashi will definitely be funnier! HAHAHAH ****YOU FAINTED**

**Hiashi: ****BYAKUGAN**

**Sera: ****HOLY CRAP**_**–runs- **_**REVIEW SO I DON'T DIE**


	3. Of Twitches and Futures Papa's

Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy

**(Warning: If you have not read Father of the Bride part one then you will not understand what is going on in part two…read part one then proceed to part two-I promise part one is a blast)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it at all 'cept the plot. I finally have a comp all my own that works so that means updating will be much faster the before!**

**Sasuke: Whoopee…_-sticks out his tongue-_**

**Sera: Are you still mad because Itachi called you ugly?**

**Sasuke:_-turns away- _Hmph!**

**Sera: Is it because he made that giant sandwich board and paid Naruto to wear it around the village…you know the one that said that you were the ugly Uchiha and had a picture of your brother shirtless on the back…as proof that he was more attractive?**

**Sasuke: _-Outraged-_ Just pours salt into the wounds will ya! _–Walks off- _I can't work like this! If you need me I'll be in my trailer! _–Door slams to the trailer on the other side of the room-_**

**Sera: Uh…um…well aren't I in a spot? Aw well at least someone is enjoying this. _–Glares at Itachi who is laughing on the floor in the corner of the room- _Idiot.**

**Itachi: _-laughing-_ Hahahaha _–tries to stand-_ hahaha_-stagers-_ heeheeheehee _-falls-_ hahahaha _–cries from laughing-_ muahahahahaha! The fan girls actually rioted in the streets! Hahahahaha!**

**Sera: _-sweat drops-_ it wasn't that funny.**

- (Alternate Universe)-

Now I know what you must be thinking. That it's ridiculous for someone like me, a grown professional business man to fall flat in his own food in unconsciousness.

Well I did, got the crab cake mask treatment if you will.

Now I was home, sitting in my office staring at a picture of both daughters and wondering where I went wrong.

Ok, so maybe Hinata wasn't wrong in anyway and was being a good child. She was married, working hard and was having a baby of her own…oh God I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Hanabi is a hell child. She obviously took after that crazy uncle in her mother's family because as far as I can tell the Hyuuga's never spawned demon children before. Hanabi was the first. Neji wasn't demonc simply given too much free time.

The phone rings and I decided to just let it go on unanswered. I was in no mood for anyone right now…I wanted anything but to talk to anyone preferring to crawl into a hole and live out the rest of my life as a white eyed mole.

…dear Lord I really have to lay off the booze.

The phones stops ringing and the answering machine turns on with a beep.

My eyes twitches and my heart rate goes in fast tempo…you know that kind of fast horrific beat whenever you just know something is going to go wrong?

Yeah, it's that one.

**"HELLO HIASHI!"**

Ten bucks to whom ever figures out who the caller on my machine is…c'mon guess. It could be one of two people really…go on guess.

…

…

…

And for those who guess Maito Gai, you guessed right!

**"How are you this YOUTHFUL DAY my friend. Might as well get to business since I have, yet again caught your machine. Sometimes it feels like you're avoiding me!"**

Really? So when I conveniently disappeared from that restaurant last week when you called me was no indication to you what so ever?

**"Anyway, I'll be there by the end of the week to give you and your YOUTHFUL DAUGHTER a few ideas about the nursery! You must be so excited!"**

Yeah…excited, annoyed in the verge of death kind of way…sure.

**"I'll see you soon! Stay YOUTHFUL!"**

Click.

The lines disconnected and I felt my heart sink and twitchy twitch at an irregular capacity. At least it wasn't Rock Lee who called; I don't think I could have dealt with that. Last time he called and no one picked up he left four different long winded messages about how nice the day was.

I have to change my number again don't I? My life is just miserable…first my daughter marries a pervert and now my youngest daughter is probably sleeping with said perverts older and much more perverted brother…damn, I need a drink.

"Where's the scotch?"

-

Neji Hyuuga looked at his lap top and grinned before shutting it off. Another bundle of reports finished just in time for lunch. He had no meetings this day and decided that he'd be heading to Sakura's house for some r and r.

Hiashi was having his daily heart attack and although Neji enjoyed toying with the man he needed to give him a break now and then before he attacked him in his weakened state.

Call it a grace period if you will.

Oh Neji, how nice of you!

He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons on his shirt before leaning back.

Yes today would be a good day.

His phone then began to ring.

"Hello Sakura."

There was a muffled sound.

**"Neji…darling how is your day so far?"**

Sakura had taken the day off stating that she wanted to be with her mother for some reason. He hadn't really paid attention while he was in bed. He loved her but the woman sure could talk.

He detested talking.

"It's fine. Where are you?"

**"Me? Oh I'm at home…my mother actually made me call you."**

"Your mother?" He thought of the smaller woman with a lighter shade of pink hair and lighter skin. She was kind but a bit loud. "Why?"

**"Well uh…"**

"Well what?" He was growing inpatient. Why did he suddenly feel like his world was going to fall in around him?

**"Congratulation Papa! I'm pregnant!"**

There was a thud on the other side of the phone as Sakura smiled a bit too brightly waiting for Neji's reply-that never came.

"Neji?"

For you see Karma had bitten Neji in his sore spot and with the news of being a father thus being chained down he did what any self respecting Hyuuga man would do.

He overreacted and passed out.

**"Hello, Neji?"**

Unfortunetly when he passed out Lee had bombarded the office and saw his friend sprawled on the floor.

"Neji! I must give him the breath of **YOUTHFUL LIFE** so that he may live again!"

And you just know what happened next.

------ ------- -------- ------- ------- ------- ------

**Sera: I liked it kinda…Neji's gonna be a daddy, Hiashi is indulging on alchol after the embarrassment of fainting again and Lee and Gai made their appearance in the story.**

**Hiashi: Although I hate you I am grateful for what happened there in the end.**

**Sera: The Neji bit?**

**Hiashi: The breath of "youthful life" bit.**

**Sera: Ah…**

**Hiashi: Indeed.**

**Review and I'll go on! That's the only way I continue! No Flames!  
**


	4. Of Karma and Neji

Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy

**(Warning: If you have not read Father of the Bride part one then you will not understand what is going on in part two…read part one then proceed to part two-I promise part one is a blast)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it at all 'cept the plot. I finally have a comp all my own that works so that means updating will be much faster the before!**

**Sasuke: Finally an update.**

**Sera: Yeah well I was inspired.**

**Sasuke: Good…I guess…at least here I wasn't attacked.**

**Sera: I left you in a good spot…you got an AWAY FROM GAI & LEE card.**

**Itachi: When will the magnificent me come in?**

**Sera: Not here.**

**Itachi:…anyway…So Sasuke, I was on the internet the other day and came across some pictures…**

**Sasuke: IT WAS A DARE! I WAS DARED TO WEAR THAT DRESS!!**

**Sera and Itachi:…(o.O')**

**Itachi: I was talking about the new manga scans for the Naruto manga…**

**Sera: Wow…I always made fun of you being girly before but Sasuke…**

**Itachi:…for the love of God…a dress? Was it blue?**

**Sasuke:…pink…with ruffles…**

**Sera:…(--')**

**Itachi:…(o.O')**

**Sasuke:…What? It was DARE!**

**Sera:…Read and Review please no flames…**

**Itachi: It's a funny chapter I suppose…**

**Sasuke: Don't ignore me!**

**Sera: You think so Itachi? I thought it was quite bland.**

**Itachi: Well I liked it.**

**Sasuke: STOP IGNORING ME!**

When later questioned why he had dropped kicked Lee and threw him out of his office he would deny that that it was a reason other then being annoyed. In all actuality it was due to waking up with Lee's lips on his breathing into him.

Neji shivered remembering the experience.

Sitting in Crystals Bar he sipped at his alcoholic beverage with slight reverence for his uncle, his father and any other man whom had ever learned they was going to be a father and had not fainted.

His manly ego had taken quite a dive when he realized he'd fainted with possibly, though he was loath to admit, a school girl like squeal, as he hit the ground.

Another sip of his tonic and his eyes narrowed.

Karma was a bitch and it was biting him in the ass, taunting him as though saying "This is what you get for all those things you did to your uncle/cousin/etc…"

Neji wasn't a bad person, not in the least; he just enjoyed the occasional prank. Not that what he did was as bad as Hanabi.

If Karma was having a PMS bitch attack it should be on Hanabi not him. That's what he thought anyway.

He looked over the crowd in the bar noting that Gaara Subaku and Ino Yamanaka was surprisingly close and drunk.

The blonde placed an arm around Gaara's shoulder while the red head leaned towards her ear. Whatever he said must have been funny because not a moment later she giggled.

Neji lifted a brow. Last he checked they had hated one another; and though he was debating on whether to step in and stop the more then likely drunken encounter from escalating he decided to ignore them.

So what is Gaara and Ino woke up beside one another in a heap of blankets naked with hangovers? It wasn't his problem.

His cell phone chimed to life in his blazer pocket and without thinking he took it out and flipped it opened. He didn't need to look on this screen to know it was Sakura.

"Hey there."

'…are you mad?'

He rolled his eyes and bit back a sigh. He was surprised that she wasn't yelling at him.

He felt oddly guilty for making her feel bad.

"Of course not…I'm a bit shocked that's all."

'You swear?'

"I swear."

There was silence on the other end of the line before Sakura spoke again this time full of authority and determination. 'Good because I think we should get a house and move in together.'

"That's reasonable."

'Good…and my mother will be moving in with us…gotta go bye!' 

The lines disconnected and the dial tone sounded loudly in his ears. His white eyes opened wide in shock, his mouth in a grim line.

"No."

Sakura's mother?

"No…please God and all that is good in this world no!"

He hated her mother!

The bartender stared at Neji for a moment, pausing in cleaning the glass with an old rag.

He poured Neji an even stronger drink.

"Lady troubles?"

"Yeah…my girlfriends pregnant so we're moving in together."

"That aint so bad." The balding man said cleaning his glass again.

"Her mother's moving in with us."

The bartender stopped, starred at Neji and placed the bottle of liquor beside Neji's glass.

"It's on the house."

"Thanks."

"You poor bastard."

"I know."

While Neji downed his glass and poured himself another, happily getting drunk while Gaara and Ino drunkenly spoke to one another and laughed he was dimly aware that his phone rang again. This time however, when he took the call all he said or grunted into it was "feh" turned it off and continued in his quest for euphoric drunkenness…

…while Sakura's mother, whom had called him to congratulate him furiously stared at her phone before dialing her daughters phone to complain about her future grandchild's inconsiderate, irate, rude father.

…Karma was biting Neji in the sore spot this time for when he got home, smelling of cheap booze with a drunken Gaara and an even drunker Ino helping him into the house, they were met with an irate Sakura and an even angrier future grandmother to be.

Oh yes…Karma was definitely a bitch.

(Hiashi POV)

For some reason I feel really happy right now…I wonder why? Did something embarrassing happen to Sasuke? Itachi…did he somehow magically cease to exist? Did Neji finally get his come-up-ings

Whatever-I'm not going to question why I suddenly feel so happy.

Anyway you must be wondering why I am hauling luggage into the house.

Well Hinata's perverted idiot of a husband is going off onto a business trip. Hinata will be staying here until he returns.

I'm so happy I could sing.

Not that I will though…although I have heard I do have a pleasant voice…er…anyway…like I was saying the pervert will be leaving.

"So Dad are you sure this is fine? I mean, I'll be gone for a couple of months and I know it's going to be hard dealing with Gai and Lee with the whole nursery thing."

An understatement of course, with will be worse then hard, hell is a more precise term but I don't say that out loud…I just stare at him.

I really do dislike him.

"Yes well I'll manage."

After he bids his wife, my daughter a goodbye he stares at me for a moment in contemplation. What is his idiot brain thinking? He isn't going to hug me right? Ugh the thought makes my skin crawl.

"Bye Dad."

And he hugs me, quick and loosely but still…physical contact.

I'm going to have to scrub the stupid off of me the moment he leaves…aw damn it my eye is twitching again!

There goes that happy feeling.

After he departs Hinata and I decide to sit in the living room and have lunch. I prepared sandwiches while she made tea. This is very relaxing by the way and I realize that I have missed this. We often did this sort of thing often and while I never took into account of it before as anything other then something we did it now hits me that this is a sort of tradition.

As we begin our lunch and Hinata asks me about work the door bursts opened and in walks the devil wearing black pumps and a skirt so shorts that not only makes Hinata blush but me as well.

"H-hello Anko." Hinata shyly greets her while I scowl.

"Hey there preggers. How are you and the baby?"

Hinata smiles and places a hand on her stomach.

"Oh just fine."

"That's good." Anko says. Her eyes zero in on me as I was making an escape behind the couch (crawling on my hands and knees) quietly mind you, and then a smile forms on her lips. "Hiashi I gotta talk to you."

"About quitting? Are you quitting?" I asked a little too hopeful. She just laughed; Hinata giggled. 

"Hell no. I was just gonna tell ya that you and I have a date tonight at that new fancy restaurant. So pick me up at eight, wear something spiffy and please be as forward as you want." She winked, took a sandwich and left.

I stood there shocked, staring as Anko left.

Did she just…inform me about a date?!

"Aw father how sweet and unexpected! I never knew you were into such strong women." Hinata said with a smile.

Twitchy did his thing and twitched while I seethed in anger and embarrassment.

"Daughter it isn't what it looks like!"

"Oh it's okay…I don't mind that you and Anko are dating, I'm actually glad."

Traitor.

Sera: Hahaha tune into next time for the DATE from HELL

Hiashi:…why haven't I killed you yet?

Sera: I dunno…

Hiashi: Why do you hate me so?

Sera: I don't hate you…your misery brightens the lives of many people Hiashi…be proud.

Hiashi:…

Sera: Review and no flames please!


	5. Specail Chapter!

**Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy-SPECIAL!**

**(Warning: If you have not read Father of the Bride part one then you will not understand what is going on in part two…read part one then proceed to part two-I promise part one is a blast)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it at all 'cept the plot.**

**Sasuke: …So you haven't crawled under a rock and died yet?**

**Sera: Huh?**

**Sasuke: It's just…you were gone for so long and well I assumed _(hoped)_ that you had died.**

**Sera: …what?**

**Sasuke: Then again if you had died it'd be better for me…**

**Sera: …Eh?**

**Sasuke: …seriously…are you trying to aggravate me? Is this some kind of joke? Are you deaf?**

**Sera: Uh??**

**Sasuke: Are you trying to be deep? Huh, are you trying to make me pissed off or something or perhaps you believe that I am stupid and-**

**Itachi: _(raises hand to silence his brother)_ She's listening to her ipod…she _can't_ hear you.**

**Sasuke: So I have been talking to myself the entire time?**

**Sera: What the hell are you saying?**

**Itachi: The idiot forgot she was listening to it.**

**Sera: What? Huh. You say something Itachi?**

**Sasuke: What a moron…**

**Sera: What is it?**

**Itachi: So anyway I guess I will take the reigns. This is a…what did she call it again?**

**Sasuke: I'm not saying it.**

**Itachi: but Sasuke-**

**Sasuke: NO!**

**Itachi _(exhales) _Um…it the Super Special Awesome _(trademark of littlekuriboh)_ Story Extra Special.**

**Sasuke: The SSASES for short.**

**Itachi:-anyway, here we, I guess, as you the readers for…well…**

**Sasuke: What?**

**Itachi: _(reading the script) _uh…_(mumbles: I don't get paid for this…) _for requests _options_? What the hell is that?**

**Sasuke: I dunno…let me see that. _(reads) _OH! I get it.**

**Itachi: Enlighten me.**

**Sasuke: Basically you get to choose how this date with Anko _(poor Hiashi)_ will go.**

**Itachi: Ah, I see.**

**Sasuke: Yes it is fairly simple. You send requests for what you would like to have happen on this date.**

**Itachi: but the outcome will be the same for the end of the story right? Or is that changing to?**

**Sasuke: I haven't even read that far…**

**Itachi: Here skim this. _(Hands over the script.)_**

**Sasuke: …Anko glomps…Lee Gai…blah blah blah…and then…oh I see…Oh GOD WHY?**

**Itachi: You can basically ask for flying monkeys, pirates, crossovers or Steve Martin…anything you want really…which ever reviewer come up with the funniest idea, the most creative and evilly perverse then it will be written up in the next chapter.**

**Sasuke: _(still ranting)_ FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, WHY?**

**Itachi:_ (pointedly ignoring) _So anyway, I suggest you foolish viewers get your thinking caps on and begin jotting down ideas…This is apparently a one time only chance since Sera decided to be nice to you all…apparently she feels bad for being away for so very long.**

**Sasuke: Oh GOD I'm going to…I'm going to…_(faints)_**

**Itachi: So anyway-don't be angry about the lack of story progress in this chapter-she really wants to hear your ideas and make it up to you all. Oh! And second runner up will have a fic written just for them…how _nice…_**

**Sera: _(finally realizes that Itachi is speaking)_ Uh hey, was busy listening to some Sex Pistols…uh Itachi?**

**Itachi: Yes?**

**Sera: Why is Sasuke on the floor drooling with swirls for eyes?**

**Sasuke: _(Swirly eyes and drool)_ Uh…_too_ much crack…not canon…evil…Anko…**

**Itachi: Uh…he was sleepy?**

**Sera: _(shrugs)_ Ok…hey what are you doing parodying without me?**

**Itachi: Uh…_(stares at readers) _Like I said send something and lets see what happens…Let the race begin!**

**Sera: HE'S DROOLING ON THE SHAG CARPET!**

**Itachi: …_(sighs) _Idiots.**


	6. Status of the story

**Hey guy's LovingTheOgre (SERA) here, making some announcements. **

**Anyway, I know I've neglected a lot of these stories and there were 2 that I was going to continue. But real life gets in the way and as some of you knew, I had recently moved into my own place. I'm moving out-that's a big factor in the whole "I'm not updating because life's weird thing". **

**I'm moving because I'm pregnant (about four months), I've lost my job and have no way to pay for my new place. I'm moving in with my boyfriend Todd, who I should call my sugar daddy fiance since we're getting married pretty darn soon.**

**So...this is what's been going on with me. I know some of you, I wont say names, have been a little hostile when sending messages because I haven't updated. It's been a hell of a two years is all I have to say, this year took the punch though. I'm going to take a little break from FF to focus on...well...having a _baby_.**

**I will continue Ren and FOTB:2 when I can, it will just be a while. And as for Sasuke? **

**Sasuke: Yeah well...I'm moving. Apparently I'm being given to Kale_Henderson who is writing_ Harry Potter and the Real Girl_. Kale happens to be Sera's friend and happens to like me (based totally on my looks. She's never seen or read Naruto before!) so it wont be that different from being here. **

**Sera: And along with giving Kale the ok to have Sasuke she will also be taking over my Cedric/Nightmare fic after she finishes her own. So if you liked Nightmare on Elm Street and Harry Potter crossover then be prepared for some terrifying writing because Kale likes to...go there. I mean by there being creepy. To find her just go on my fav authors list and find Kale_Henderson.  
**

**Sasuke: And don't fret. Kale is also working on the ZOMBIE/ Naruto crossover as well for our pregnant Sera. For someone who hasn't read or seen Naruto it will be a stretch.**

**Sera: But hey, she's good. Anyway, I hope you aren't too disappointed. I can't wait to be back here. I'll try as soon as I can.**

**Sasuke: It's a boy by the way.**

**Sera: Sasuke!**

**Sasuke: Hn...**


End file.
